Nashville's favourite things 2012 - a preview

Hey readers!
We all know that my annual "favourite things" list makes a huge splash and influences trends and markets around the world, and while it does not come out until January, I'll give you a preview today with one of my favourite things for next year:

Library cats!

These furry kitties are taking over libraries,supervising humans, and winning hearts. Here I present the past and future of library cats. Be sure to look out for the full article in the new year!
1. Dewey Readmore Books
This library cat was put in the book return at the Spencer Public Library in 1988 and the library decided to adopt him. He since became a crucial staff member and author of several books. He died several days after his 19th birthday in 2006, but his memory lives on forever in our hearts.

2. Cinnamon One current library cat who is shaking things up with his love for historical literature is Genovia Library's own Cinnamon. He resides in the YA section and is much loved and inspirational to all the patrons. I'm so tempted to steal him, but I know his orange coat would totally clash with my almost exclusively pink wardrobe. If there's one new hero blazing a trail for future library cats, it's Cinnamon. Watch out for new and exciting things in his career in 2012!


There's a small taste for you. Be sure to check out my favourite things list coming this January. Send me pictures of your local library cat with a small write up and the cat may be featured in my list!

XOXO, Nashville

Oh. My. God.

Hey readers!

So it's no secret that I love history - particularly from the Renaissance era. While there's a wealth of books, articles, and documentaries on the subject available at your local library, I must admit - I was stunned to find this blog today - never before have all the most important aspects of their art come together in such an amazing way....Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, ugly Renaissance babies: http://uglyrenaissancebabies.tumblr.com/
This is a blog full of Renaissance art with babies in it. They basically all look like tiny adults, grossly out of proportion. This was just the way they drew, at the time it was cutting edge. However, to me, today, it is inspirational, and as far as new trends go is JCETW (just crazy enough to work).

I'm totally getting one of my baby pictures painted, and they will alter me to look a Renaissance baby! So chic! This tacky family photo rebirth is totally the new "tousist-y posing as people from the old west with prop guns, bottles of whiskey, and black and white film". You know what I'm talking about! In the near future, be prepared to appear pleasant as relatives show you their Renaissance baby photo remakes!
I'll be sure to post mine once it's done!
Will you be taking part in the Renaissance baby photo art trend?

XOXO, Nashville

Do not do these things!!

Hey readers!
You all know I love a good trend. Trends are what keep things from staying exactly the same all the time. Pretty much, at this point, we've figured out what we need to eat to stay healthy, which kind of clothes look best on us, and what kind of topics we're interested in. We'd never change it up if it weren't for crushing societal pressure to fit in!


That being said, there are occasionally trends that I am opposed to. Today I will share my latest top three with you, along with solutions to the real problem in book form:


3. Energy Drinks

There's no reason why you need to consume these. Just sleep more. Also, the way these are marketed is so annoying to me.
Fix this:
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Insomnia-Workbook-Comprehensive-Guide-Getting-Stephanie-A-Silberman-Charles-M-Morin/9781572246355-item.html?ikwid=insomnia&ikwsec=Books

2. Trapper Hats
These full hats have recently become fashionable for women to wear. First of all, gross. Do you have any idea how long I spend making my hair look perfect every morning?! These hats ruin your hair and rob you of your personality. The only excuse I can think of for wearing something like this is if your hair looks horrible. Learn how to do your hair!http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/The-Complete-Book-of-Hairstyling/9781552975763-item.html?ref=item_page:richrel



1. Placenta encapsulation
As one critic put it, "auto-cannibalism has never been so cool!" Basically, you pay people to take your placenta and put it into pills so that you can eat it. http://vivantemidwifery.com/placenta.html is a site that is trying to sell you this service, and even they admit, "current research on human placentophagy does not exist". So, they have no scientific edvidence to say if/why it even works. All they say is that women who do this have more energy and fewer emotional issues. You know what also works for this? Shoes. Buy a pair of shoes, don't pay to eat parts of your own body.
Learn about alternative health practices:http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Trick-Treatment-Alternative-Medicine-Trial-Simon-Singh/9780593059043-item.html?ikwid=trick+or+treatment&ikwsec=Home

That's all for today! What are some trends that annoy you?
XOXO,
Nashville

Blizzog 2011!

Break out the blizznog ladies!
That's right, huge snow storm, consider all the day's activities totally cancelled. Personally, I am wearing my fuzzy slipper uggs and researching which book I'm going to read next. I'm looking for something totally juicy about shopping and falling in love. Also, I want it to be winter themed.

Since the storm warning was posted this morning I've had tons of questions pouring in. I'm going to address the most pressing ones in my FAQ sections! Check it out!

I've noticed you spell your name "Nashville", why not "Nashvil"? Can I address you as "Nashvil"
Definitely. I spelled it Nashville to appeal to a wider reader base, but both spellings are awesome and acceptable. When will Nashville, Tenn. open up to this idea? Ugh.

My roommate broke her arm and it's not healing so she's on the waiting list to get one of those helper monkeys. The thing is, I don't know if I want a helper monkey in my apartment, what if it wears my clothes and spits in our cupboards?
This is a question I seem to be hearing a lot. My respsonse to you is, think of how she feels. Don't you think her happiness is worth the occasional stolen wardrobe item, paired out of context with some gaudy jewellry, or some monkey saliva in your favourite coffee mug? Stop being so selfish!

My eye is really swollen, bloodshot, and kind of tingly. It started feeling this way when I woke up this morning. What should I do?
First of all, I'm really glad that you're coming to me with medical advice. Immediately wash your eye out, then cover it with a patch to make sure this infection does not spread to your other eye, or more importantly, to the eyes of other people around you. Important: make sure you decorate the patch with a skull, jewels, or a bold colour to stay chique this season.

That's all for the day. Send me your book reccommendations and stay warm!
XOXO, Nashvil(le)

Trend Alert!

Ugh, so, my library has gone all out with no-smoking signs for our building. They spent so much budget money and we got the signs in the mail today...to put it realistically, they are the ugliest, most boring signs that have ever existed in the entire universe.

Today during my break I made some waaay better ones. I showed them to my supervisor and she started talking about the weather and some stuff about how she thinks she's starting a cold, then told me about her cat's weird snoring problems. Tomorrow I'll tell her about kitty sleep apnea masks, if she's nice.

My poster idea is that everyone who looks fabulous smoking would look so much more fabulous with a book in their face instead. Check it out!!

These will totally be sweeping the nation in like, three years when everyone realizes how much of a genius trendsetter I am.

Today in Library Gossip: Pet Peeves

Hi there devoted readers!

Can I just say something? It is getting pretty frigid outside. That's why I was so shocked to see a girl walk in today with denim bootie shorts, a turtleneck, and red high heels. First of all, girl, those shorts are shorter than my four-year-old nephew Keith's attention span - these are both unacceptable problems in most kinds of buildings.

Second of all, how are you not frozen? You're showing a lack of self-respect in more than one way. I know you've got gym clothes in that workout bag of yours, please layer up!

Lastly, I could maybe understand this bold look if it was in the name of some trend. But, just let me say that no one on the runway is wearing this look! The last person I saw wearing shorts like this was in a 70's television show about cars and also about a girl with low self-esteem.

My recommendations:

1. To young girls: No offense, but Daisy Duke should not be looked up to as a fashion icon. I'm going to suggest you follow the example of 90's TV darling Blossom, whose look is totally making a comeback!*





2. To my sister Vanessa and her son Keith**: Ritalin.



* Never seen the show? I happen to know a library that has the full series in its entirety. Just sayin'! ;)

** Totally not their real names, I'm not a monster ;)

That's my rant for the day. What are some of your pet peeves, or favourite episodes of Blossom?

XOXO, Nashville

Which Literary Hunk is Your True Soul Mate?

Let's face it ladies, literature is full of hotties! I've compiled a list of the hottest, and made a quiz to let you know which guy you are most compatible with. Remember, this is an internet quiz, so all results should be taken very seriously.

Are you ready?!

1. Your ideal man...
a.) is a doctor.
b.) knows how to put on a show.
c.) doesn't kiss and tell.
d.) is strong and brave.

2. One flaw you're most willing to put up with:
a.) he endangers your life
b.) claims to be never late or early, and often flakes out on plans
c.)  he's consumed by guilt
d.) prioritizes fighting monsters over your relationship

3. Your most ideal death...
a.) Murdered by a monster on your honeymoon
b.) Killed by servants of The Dark Lord
c.) Burned as a witch
d.) Killed by a fire-breathing dragon

4. The legacy you'd like him to leave behind...
a.) He shows that men should not play god.
b.) Restores good to the realm, great friend to all races.
c.) Reveals societal flaws.
d.) Rules wisely, sacrifices himself for his people.

             ** Results**














Mostly A's:
Your soul mate is Doctor Victor Frankenstein From Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. He's a total genius. I mean, he discovers the secret of life! All he needs is a lady like you to teach him about ethics, the folly of revenge, and that all actions have consequences.












Mostly B's:
Your soul mate is Gandalf from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings!
This wizard hottie uses his magic for good and knows how to make the sparks fly! Think he's too old and frail for you? Fool of a Took! A Balrog of Mordor can't even kill this guy. Plus, he's got the dopest ride in all of middle earth!




Mostly C's:
Your soul mate is Arthur Dimmesdale from Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter. This hunk is a reverend, and a good one at that! This man is passionate and respected by everyone. Would it kill him to acknowledge your relationship? Yes. It literally would.






Mostly D's:
Your soul mate is Beowulf, from the Anglo Saxon masterpiece, Beowulf. Hello, This badass defeats Grendel, then Grendel's swamp-hag of a mother! As if that wasn't enough, he has the balls to rule Geatland for fifty years then dies saving his kingdom from a gd dragon!




Your destiny is set! Let me know who you end up with in the comments section. As I always say, there's no such thing as TMI!
Another thing: If you've had the misfortune of never having read your true love's heroic(ish?) tale, may I suggest that you check out the book? You'll thank me later ;)

XOXO, Nashville